sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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