Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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