then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
