How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
