Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
