Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
