If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
