Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
