If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
