sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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