i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I could fuck to npr.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
