he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Houston, we have a squirter
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize