Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
