he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
