there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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