"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
