If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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