You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
