i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
