I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
