Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
