Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
