I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
