he shaved USA in his pubs
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
