hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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