I'll bet she douches with gravy.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
