After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
