Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize