it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
