I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
No subtext here. People are naked.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
