HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
