It's Friday. Sex?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
