I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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