just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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