How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
