So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize