What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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