she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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