I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
