I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
