peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
