similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize