Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize