Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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