next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
