So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize