I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
