I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
