So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
