Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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