did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
