He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you didnt know i had herpes?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
