so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
