What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
