This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
