i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We are all done wearing pants today
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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