I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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