Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
