I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
