absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it glows. i had to have it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize