I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she peed on how many people?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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