she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If that was your dad, he is hot
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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