mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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