yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
