i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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