don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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