..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't deserve a penis
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
