At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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