Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize