dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
can u get pink eye on your cock?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
