So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This is the high leading the old right now
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize