everyone is single if you try hard enough
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize