Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
