WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
