i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
