I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
