I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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