If i come over, it means nothing
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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