Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
