Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
