im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
